5 Hours to a better relationship

Marriage expert and researcher John Gottman found that an extra 5 hours a week can be what separates successful marriages from failing ones. He found that couples who intentionally spend a culmination of 5 extra hours of their week on their marriage report higher relationship satisfaction. He calls it “The Magic 5 hours”.

Maybe you’re asking yourself, but how can I do this? I’m already so busy! Look for little moments that add up throughout the week. For example:

1. Intentional goodbyes. Spend a quick 2 minutes when saying good-bye to kiss, hug, touch and briefly chat with your partner. 5 days a week adds up to 10 minutes a week.

2. Intentional hellos! Talk at the end of each day about your day. Don’t just Netflix and chill. Debrief one another about the highs and lows of your day. I love to call this pillow talk. If you both talk about your day for 10 minutes, that’s 20 minutes a day adding up to over 2 hours a week.

3. Admiration and appreciation. If you’re not sharing something you admire and appreciate about your partner everyday, please start now! This helps build trust and intimacy. It doesn’t have to be a long conversation, but 5 minutes a day can add up to 35 minutes a week.

4. Physical Affection. Share physical affection with your partner! Hug, kiss, touch, hold hands, cuddle. It's a great way to end your day and 5 minutes a day can add up to 35 minutes a week.

5. Date your partner. This doesn’t have to be anything grand. A date is intentional time together focusing on one another. Whether it’s out at your favorite restaurant or doing a puzzle together at home, just the two of you.

If you’re feeling like your relationship is in a rut right now, try adding in an intentional 5 hours a week focusing on your partner and see if you notice a difference!