3 Ways to Connect With Your Partner Today!
Fostering connection in your relationship is similar to lifting weights. The more you do it, the stronger you become. If you lift weights consistently, you consistently get stronger. Similarly, if you work on your relationship connection continuously, the stronger your relationship becomes. Often the couples that I see in therapy want quick fixes to strengthen their relationship. Just like there are no “quick fixes” to building muscle, there are no “quick fixes” to strengthen your connection either. However, there are some things you can do TODAY, to help you feel more connected, TODAY. It will take work and effort to continue the connection, but doing these 3 things today will help you feel more connected than you were yesterday.
The Six-Second Kiss
Oftentimes, partner kisses can be short and simple. A kiss out the door, a kiss when you come home, a kiss before bed. According to marriage researcher John Gottman, a six second kiss is “long enough to make a moment of connection with your partner. It stops the busyness in your brain and puts your focus on your partner for a moment”. If your partings and greetings with your partner include quick pecks, try giving them a six-second kiss. It’s the fastest, easiest way to feel more connected to your partner today.
2. Ask them about something specific you know are they struggling with
Be specific. We all are humans who struggle. Whether it's something menial such as struggling to potty train the puppy, or choose which color to paint the bathroom. or something bigger such as struggling with an emotion such as depression, anxiety, grief. This may sound something like. “Hey I was thinking about you today and you’ve been feeling________(insert emotion). I just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing with _________”. Asking and checking in with your partner about a specific struggle helps build intimacy and connection as you foster the
3. Tell Them Why You Love Them
Hopefully if you’re in a committed relationship with your partner, you are saying, “I Love You”. How often do you say, “I Love You Because_______”? If you want to feel more connected to your partner today, say something like, “I love you because of your kind heart. I love to watch you interact with others and see you be so loving towards those you meet”. Use this to tell your partner why you love them. If you are struggling to remember why you love them, think about the early days of your relationship when you were infatuated with one another, and tell them why you fell in love with them.
Doing these 3 things today will help you feel more connected to your partner. A little work every day will strengthen the relationship muscle and will keep you connected through hard times.
